Alan's Mystical Musings

Random thoughts and commentary of a SF, Fantasy, and Horror geek.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Why PublishAmerica Sucks Eggs: Part II

Yes, I know, I haven't been updating, but just be happy I remembered this time.

So, on toward Atlanta Nights by Travis Tea:

A few years ago, PublishAmerica got a little pissed off at the science fiction/fantasy community. For one thing, there was Victoria Strauss and Ann Crispin of Writer Beware and Dave Kuzminski of Preditors & Editors, the three main industry watchdogs who spread the word about scams to new writers. All three of them are published SF/F authors.

When PublishAmerica stepped onto the scene, these three did all they could to stir naive authors away from their clutches. Which made the Stooges very unhappy:

It was quite obvious that PA didn't exactly like SF/F authors. They said things like:

"[They are] writers who erroneously believe that SciFi, because it is set in a distant future, does not require believable storylines, or that Fantasy, because it is set in conditions that have never existed, does not need believable every-day characters."

and

"...science-fiction and fantasy writers have it easier. It's unfair, but such is life. As a rule of thumb, the quality bar for sci-fi and fantasy is a lot lower than for all other fiction. Therefore, beware of published authors who are self-crowned writing experts. When they tell you what to do and not to do in getting your book published, always first ask them what genre they write. If it's sci-fi or fantasy, run. They have no clue about what it is to write real-life stories, and how to find them a home."

Yes, they really do hate science fiction and fantasy authors. A bunch of pros all suspected that PA would accept nearly anything, so Jim Macdonald cooked up a plan to have a bunch of pros each write a chapter or two of the worst novel ever written. Contributors were given a limited time to write their chapters, based on some sketchy character descriptions and a few events.

The results. Are. Hilarious. There are two chapter twelves, two chapters that are exactly the same, no chapter 21, and chapter 34 was created by the Bonsai Story Generator, which was fed some previous chapters.

Finally, the manuscript was ready. Jim gave it to a friend to submit to PA under his own name. Sure enough, PA accepted Atlanta Nights on December 7, 2004.

On January 23, 2005, the sting was revealed on Absolute Write, and was followed up by a press release and several news articles.

Within a few hours, PA took back their offer. Larry Clopper tried to make some convincing rebuttals, but he only made himself look like an idiot.

So, it was proven PA would accept anything. Now it's known that they have a daily quota where they reject everything after they accept a certain number of books. If you get rejected, submit it early the next morning and you just might get your acceptance.

Here is a sample of the infamous Chapter 34: "Bruce walked around any more. Some people might ought to her practiced eye. I am so silky and braid shoulders. At sixty-six, men with a few feet away form their languid glances."

There's characters who change race, gender, hair color, motivation, and pretty much anything else was inconsistent. It is a hilarious book, and I highly recommend as a teaching tool on how NOT to write. You can buy it here. It is guaranteed to provide you many hours of entertainment.

3 Comments:

At November 02, 2006 12:52 PM, Blogger Dama Negra said...

Good post, as always. I just hope I don't have to wait another year for the next part ;)

 
At November 21, 2006 9:58 AM, Blogger Shwebb said...

Alan,
Love your blog! "Atlanta Nights" will hopefully come to be as popular for all the right and wrong reasons.

BTW, you've been tagged, buddy. Chaostitan got me for a meme, and I'm passing the fun along to you.

 
At January 21, 2007 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I notice that a bunch of you sent another phony book to Publish America in an apparent attempt to prove, once again, that they will accept anything. Didn't we already know that???

Then, you all sit around and mutually congratulate yourselves for being oh so clever. How many times are you going to engage in this childish exercise before you realize that it's no longer terribly imaginative, to say noathing of its ineffectiveness.

I dislike PA as much as anyone but don't you really think it might be time to grow up and spend your time in more fruitful ways. Ever hear of Caveat emptor?

 

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